I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
