Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It's no shave November. This is our time.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
