She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
