Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
