you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
