So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
