So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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