hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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