glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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