i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
