I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
