when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
