he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
