i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
A bitchslap is in order.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize