what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
