Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's shark week go big or go home
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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