my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
