So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
