what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
