Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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