Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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