I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Say something about gay babies.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
this hospital has no fireball
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
