Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
