i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
