officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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