it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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