your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
BRING THE BAGELS
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
