is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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