i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
