wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
