i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
