I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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