he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize