this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
