just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
