Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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