if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
