They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
