I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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