I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
