What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
