wanna go halves on a baby?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
