CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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