everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
