I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
