I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
They are going to name an STD after you.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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