Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
