Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
