Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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