Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
