Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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