he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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