he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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