Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
