you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
