Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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