The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
