Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
