Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
