im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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