Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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