You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
